I Guess I Don't Know Love...

So as we should all know, this week is the love week. Yeah. . . couldn't wait til Feb, right? Anyways. . with my new post (it's not this one) about love, I foresee that I shall be challenged about capturing the true (or truer) essence of love, with the hopes of not making it any of the following: Cheesy, stupid, predictable, cliche, obvious, redundant, Twilight, pornographic, redundant, immature, monotonous, lifeless, soulless, redundant, lacking in emotion, dragging on, self-circling, redun--. . .*AHEM*, etc.

The point is this; I don't know love, because my definitions of love are generic (forgot to add it to ^ that list), or non-sensational. I don't know what love is because I've never felt the love I strongly desire to capture. That being said, I have been in love. It WAS lust, but I realized that, and I felt so strongly to want and to feel more than just petty lust, that I made it into love, and it was going great. But when a new year hit, KABLAM! It was over, and I had no idea why.

There was no obvious reason, nor motive, and when I tried to understand, I hit a dead end. I had a chance later to make a move and potentially get my shot for something great-- I mean grand, back, but I feel I fell so short of what I needed to do that I landed flat on my face, and it hurt. I lost so much, and I don't know how the other felt, if they even cared. Do you even care?! It means a lot that I even say this.

The results were devastating, and know that I still try to piece this together even now. I can't be in love again because I am incapable of feeling something for someone who doesn't know better than to screw with someones heart. I'm incapable of loving someone too immature to feel or know the hope for something better.

So here is the problem, again. I don't how to capture something I've never felt in its fullest. To leave you, my faithful readers (who never comments, except for Mort), with less than what is true here would be the equivalent of me cheating you out of the deal of a lifetime. How can I promise you something I claim is true love without understanding it all. I want to make this as legit and ten-fold that of what is real. A so real love, it's surreal love.

I guess I can only give it my best. Put forth my grandest. Hope for the best. Be patient though, because however much we're told differently, girl and boy don't fall in love in a single chapter. However, for the sake of making this progress at a reasonable pace, I will try to push it to the point ASAP. So just hang tight while I work this out. If it sucks, tell me so I can at least try to improve. If it looks good enough for government work, and it really is bad, I may never know.

With you in mind, and only hoping for the best, I'll leave with this. I WILL write this love I praise so grandly, and I hope you feel it full force. I'll get on it sooner than later so you get more Amanalii stories (That is her name if you didn't pick that obvious one up in the second story). Finally, freaking comment if you like it! If you don't like it, shove it in my face!! Fetch, I don't know how I'm doing. . . Support, team, support!!!
-Shawn

P.S. My definition of 'redundant' was "uncalled for", from internet definitions.